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Lately the hubs' work has been more stressful than usual, which has been less than ideal. I want nothing more than to be able to swoop in and fix all his problems, but I can't. There's really notihing I can do but listen to and support him.
It's hard to remember, but there will be battles I can't fight for (or even with) him. It's even harder to remember, but I can't take on his worries either. I can try to alleviate them and brainstorm solutions, but I can't own them. Just like he can't own mine.
This was a hard one to learn, but I feel like it's similar to my revelation on guilt - my taking on his worries isn't empathy, it won't help, we'll just both feel crappy. It's a hard lesson, especially when you love someone and want nothing more than for them to be happy - but that's not real life. Real life can be hard, but it's also wonderful. Wonderful to love someone so much that you want to take on their worries, wonderful that setbacks can be overcome, wonderful in that, for the most part, things really are wonderful.
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Yes so true. Really not good to "own" other peoples problems. Over time it will just eat away at you and especially if you can not resolve them and then this coud turn in to resentment which can kill a relationship. So very smart to realize this.
ReplyDeleteAli of
Dressing Ken
Thanks Alicia!
DeleteI am in the same situation right now, my boyfriend is really under a lot of stress because of work; and I can do nothing about it. Well, he says telling him "it's going to be alright" is good enough. That's the only thing I can do anyway.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's tough. Sounds like you two are in a good place with it though. I hope things begin to lighten up for him. xo!
DeleteI really love your point of view. I completely agree. And cheers for being such a supportive wife!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lana. That's so nice of you to say.
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