Livy's 1st Birthday Party

Hi dolls, how are ya? Coming off of a fab-o weekend I hope!

Like I mentioned, our darling girl turned one whole year old a few weeks ago. To celebrate, we threw a small party at Palisades Park in Santa Monica. Here are a few photos if you'd like to see:

It was a really special afternoon. I was so pleased with the way it all turned out. Big thanks to our friends and family who took the day to celebrate this happy milestone for our little family with us. It truly takes a village and we are so grateful for ours.

Balloons: Balloon Celebrations
Cake: Vanilla Bake Shop
Cake Topper: Blush Bazaar
Cup Cake Toppers: chiarabelle
Crown: Little Blue Olive
Design & Florals: your's truly
Food: My mom, sister, and I
Photography: La Rousse Photo

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Hello again

Oh hi there! It's been a while. I missed you all and I missed this space. It's been a bit of a whirlwind since I last checked in here six months ago (what?!). I'm actually not sure where to start, so I'm just going to jump in.

There've been two major updates in the last few months: we moved from SF to LA and our little girl turned one (again, what?!).

Yep, we left our beloved city by the bay -- sadly, another family pushed out of San Francisco by the totally inflated cost of living -- for sunny southern California. Although I miss San Francisco something awful, moving to LA is like coming home for me. I grew up down here and there were parts of southern California that I really missed, the lifestyle is actually pretty awesome, especially if you like the beach, hiking, and saying "like" a lot, all of which I do. We're closer to family here, and the hubs got a great job to boot. Still, it's a very different lifestyle (hello, driving) and were still adjusting. But it's good, it's a new adventure. :-)

Part of that adventure was our baby girl turning one! Ahh! So crazy. We survived our first year of parenthood. This past year has been the most beautiful blur, and I think I'm still processing everything that's happened. This is a significant chapter in our lives, it's a time for slowing down, for sacrifices, for loving (and being loved) more deeply than ever before. It's hard to see it all clearly through the bleary haze of permeant sleep deprivation, and we're still in the middle of it. Still, one is a milestone, something to celebrate.

Anyway, that's my news. How are you all?

I'm still working on balancing this whole mom thing with, well, everything else, but I think I'm getting the hang of it and am going to try and make more of an effort to nurture this space.

Talk soon? Cool.

Image via la rousse photo..

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Bouquet

This arrangement looks pretty normal, just a simple bunch of white hydrangeas -- but it's so much more than that.

The hubs is not one for romantic gestures. He's not a surprise you on a tuesday with a bunch of roses because they reminded him of you kind of guy. In a good year, I'll get flowers from him maybe once on Valentine's Day. The hubs isn't a flowery words and love letters kind of guy either. He's much more of an actions speak louder kind of guy. But not big romantic gestures and actions. He's the kind of guy who shows love by getting up everyday and working his butt of for his family, through loyalty, through jokes and cuddles, through foot rubs, and by doing the dishes when I'm too tired to. You know those million little everyday-things that remind you that love isn't the fireworks of infatuation, it's the everyday business of working hard to build a life with someone. It's showing up and being there.

So when the hubs came home early from work on my birthday to surprise me with a bunch of white hydrangeas because he knows I love them, it was pretty special.

Image via. 
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Wed Day

The one word that should never follow "I love you."

I think most of us do this from time to time, the "I love you, but." I love you, but I need you to pick up your socks, I love you, but sometimes you make me crazy, I love you, but ...

It's just a little word. What's the harm? I recently read a post about just this. You think the "I love you" part softens the blow of whatever you need to say - because it's true. Yet, the "but" only serves to negate the "I love you." It makes your love sound conditional. More like an "I'd love you if." It's amazing the power of one little word, huh?

The author started saying "I love you, and ..." instead, and that has worked really well for her and her partner. I might simply use a different preface all together, maybe a "honey, please." Honey, please pick up your socks, honey, please, sometimes you make me crazy, honey, please ... It could work.

Do any of you do this sort of think? It's amazing the difference little tweaks can make in your communication overall.

Image of Joanna McCormick and Colin Fox photographed by Jerry Schatzberg in New York, 1958.
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Wed Day

Impending motherhood has me thinking not only about being a mommy, but also about being a wife, and the changing roles within my marriage. I of course cannot wait to meet our baby girl, and am so looking forward to motherhood, but I also want to make sure I'm careful not to completely loose myself in that role. I also want to prioritize my relationship with my husband, and keep in touch with my femininity. Easy peasy, right?

So naturally I've also been thinking about desire in a long term relationship - as they say, there's a TED Talk for that. In her talk, Esther Perel discusses how good committed sex plays two conflicting human needs against each other - the need for security, but also for surprise. She tackles the topic with charm and intelligence - totally worth the 20 minutes. Watch here.

Image via.

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Wed Day

Would you take a college course on marriage? If you go to Northwestern University you can do just that. Their Marriage 101 course aims to give students more meaningful relationships throughout their lives. Students meet for lecture once a week and then have smaller break out sessions to discuss that week's topic. Books like Mating in Captivity are read and dissected along with more typical academic studies. Despite appearances, it's not a fluff course, and students eagerly clamor for their place in the class.  

Pop culture depicts romantic love as a matter of luck, you meet the right person, then everything effortlessly falls into place. Learning how to love well is anything but intuitive. Among the lessons students learn in this class are:

• Self-understanding is the first step to having a good relationship
• You can’t avoid marital conflict, but you can learn how to handle it better
• A good marriage takes skill 
• You and your partner need a similar worldview

The take away? Love is hard work, but so worth it. 

Read more about the course here. 

Image via.

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Maternity Shoot

I hope you'll all indulge me for a minute -- about two weeks ago the lovely and talented Mallory of Mallory Miya Photography came to our home and took some intimate maternity shots. Here are a few of my favorites...

Thank you Mallory, I had so much fun shooting with you. 

I completely recommend her to all you Bay Area mamas-to-be out there (ps: she does weddings, engagements, and newborn shoots too!).  xo!

All images via Mallory Miya.

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Bouquet

How pretty is this arrangement? Sadly, I cannot take credit for this one. This is the pretty bouquet the hubs had sent to my office on Valentine's Day. He doesn't send me flowers very often, but we he does - he nails it.

Image via yours truly.
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Settling In

So I haven't done a weekend wrap-up in a while, mostly because there hasn't been a ton to write home about. Aside from my LA getaway, our small Super Bowl gathering, and the hub's birthday dinner (here) we've mostly just been nesting - settling into this new season of life.  I must say that winter weather (the little we've gotten) has also made it easy to hibernate.

It's a change of pace for sure, but I've surprised myself by how easily I've slipped into this new phase of domesticity. It's been nice to take a beat, catch our breath, give ourselves the space to grow into our next chapter. I'm just at the beginning of my third trimester (I can't even begin to tell you how that happened so quickly!) and I can feel that things are going to pick up here pretty soon. There will be baby showers, birthdays, birthing and baby classes, and of course work obligations - all of which I think may make these last few months before baby girl arrives go rather quickly. So for now I'm just going to appreciate these little relaxed moments while I can.

Image of the hubs' birthday waffles via yours truly.
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Wed Day

It's never a bad time to try and cultivate more love and intimacy in your relationship - Valentine's Day seems like an especially appropriate time.

The idea of "cultivating intimacy" sounds like a daunting task, right? Well it doesn't have to be. You can start with a few simple habits. Maybe you even do these things already.

1. Express gratitude toward your partner. Maybe they didn't do their dishes, but they did fold the laundry, so that's something right? 
2. Focus on what's working, don't look for problems. Why hold a magnifying glass up to every issue when you could magnify everything you love about your partner instead? 
3. Notice your urge to nag and control. Nagging is about control, but it's also a habit you can break. Give your partner a little more credit. (Easier said than done, right?)

If you want to go further in depth, read more here.

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Wed Day

So there's been a lot of buzz around Leaning In over the past year or so, but what about leaning ON?

I recently read this article which made me think about the ways in which leaning on someone is a strength and not a crutch. We are fortunate to live in a day and age (not to mention country) where as women we are not automatically expected to give up our careers and ambitions the day we get engaged. In a lot of ways I think my relationship strengthens my ambitions. Having a partner, a cheerleader in my corner, is invaluable motivation to do well - not just for myself but for my family. The hubs and I graduated college together, so we've been each other's support system though-out this whole twenty-something-welcome-to-the-real-world journey. I even supported him while he was completing his post-grad advertising program and I was taking on my first few "real" jobs.

I know I have some difficult choices coming up in the not so distant future in respect to the whole "mommy/career juggle." How all that will work out is TBD. Regardless, I can't help but reject the notion that relying on someone else and choosing to be a wife and mother (even if that means slowing down for a moment) is a weakness.

How about you dolls, what are your thoughts?

To be clear, this isn't a dig at you single ladies out there. I think both roads take courage and strength - but I can only speak to my own experience as a young wife and expectant mom.  

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Big news ...

We're having a baby girl! I had a feeling she was a little lady, but I didn't want to make any assumptions until we knew for sure - and now we do!

I'm over the moon picturing tutus, tea parties, and dress-up dates. The hubs is a little nervous picturing first dates, prom, and boyfriends. What can you do? At least we have sometime before we have to start really worrying about all that. :-)

I have so many hopes for this little one. It's amazing how well I feel I know her already, how much  I love her.

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Our Holiday Card

This is our 2013 holiday card! We took a slightly different direction this year that we have in the past (see: 1, 2) and decided to involve our cats. Thanks minted for making our cheesiest dreams come true.

Happy Holidays!

Image yours truly. 
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Weekend Wrap Up

Weekends have definitely taken on a new significance since getting knocked up - I really treasure these few days to recuperate more than ever. Late nights aren't so late (or so boozy), but that doesn't really bother me. Maybe I'm growing up. :-)

This past weekend started of rainy and was cold, cold, cold all the way through. Friday night we had dinner with the hubs' favorite uncle (in town for a medical conference) and then called it an early night (no shocker there, see above). It's always a treat to spend time with family you don't get to see nearly as often as you'd like.

Saturday was lazy, but that night actually ended up being pretty special. Since we've been together, the hubs and I have taken at least one night in December to wander around whatever city we're in at the moment and take in all the Christmas lights. For the past few years that's meant a walk around Nob Hill, Union Square, and Downtown - hot coffee or coco included of course. It's not a radical tradition to keep, it's a small thing really, but still feels important - chatting, walking hand in hand. I look forward to it all year. This year felt even more significant - everything this time of year seems a little more significant with a baby on the way. The season is highlighted knowing that is the last year  it will be "just the two of us" and that this time next year we'll be wandering looking at Christmas lights and the kittens in the Macy's window with a baby in tow. Craziness ... 

How were your weekends dolls? I'd love to hear!

Image via yours truly.  

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Wed Day

About this time last year, I had traditions on my mind. Same story this time around, except magnified by the fact that we're expecting. We're still actively (and happily) participating in our family's traditions, and this year that make sense for us. Plus we want to. But this time next year we'll have a little one. So...

I'm not really sure yet. But I guess that's alright. Maybe that's how traditions work, they evolve slowly. We let what works stick and then new ones are added to the tapestry. I'm excited to see what evolves, to see what colors are woven in.

What new traditions have you added to your holiday?

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